It's almost here and i don't want to run it. That's the paradox of life. I trained for almost 5 months, thought about quitting a hundred times, suffered through gastric pains and unpleasantness, heat strokes, close calls on the road, muscle spasms, and bleeding nipples. I even shaved my chest hair cause it felt marathonman-like. And now this feeling of distance from the end goal? What the f....
On the other hand it's been a life experience. The runs took me places I've never been and made me see things I had no idea existed -- both physical and metaphysical. I experienced the runners high. I pushed myself to the verge, tittering between the state of consciousness and subconsciousness. It's Milan Kundera's lightness of being -- a dream in the real.
The last weak has also been a very easy one in terms of distance. I've cut down to the point where I don't know what's even the point of doing these short runs. But my web coach seems to think I should keep strapping on my running shoes and spinning the legs. God, I can't stand the sight of that guy's face anymore. I need a new coach, or he should remove his picture from his page.
Last Thursday -- it was my birthday -- and my last long run. I took a buddy of mine along and we did a half marathon. it was easy and it felt awesome, and it helps to have someone to talk to.
So here it comes, do or die. Am I ready? I'll know on Sunday.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Running to democracy
My running has been easier over the last few weeks. I’m knocking down the miles to rest my legs ahead of the race. But my runs are less inspiring.
I’m growing both excited by the prospect of running in the New York marathon and anxious. It is my first race, so I guess the feeling of doubt is a part of it. Am I ready; did I train enough? My last 20Mile run was less than convincing. This weekend I did 12Miles in Bodrum. I was reckless in my time selection, hitting the road at 2pm with the sun directly above me. What was I thinking? I was drenched in sweat in the first 30 minutes. After that, it was pure psychology to keep my legs and body moving. Narcissism? Maybe manic is a better way to describe my approach to running. On top of it, I caught a cold last weekend and am now nursing a slight fever. I went running yesterday. Bad idea, I feel worse today. I should have rested.
Off of the marathon track, Azerbaijan had its presidential election last week. The incumbent, President Ilham Aliyev, was reelected with 90 percent support. I remember the first presidential election there, and the last parliamentary one. This one was better. But the OSCE/ODIHR and now the EU Presidency argued the election did not meet all the international standards.
Well, it’s like running a marathon. We’re all in it for the long run. Azerbaijan, EU and the OSCE. Democracy like long-distance running is about the process, the training and the institutional stamina.
I’m growing both excited by the prospect of running in the New York marathon and anxious. It is my first race, so I guess the feeling of doubt is a part of it. Am I ready; did I train enough? My last 20Mile run was less than convincing. This weekend I did 12Miles in Bodrum. I was reckless in my time selection, hitting the road at 2pm with the sun directly above me. What was I thinking? I was drenched in sweat in the first 30 minutes. After that, it was pure psychology to keep my legs and body moving. Narcissism? Maybe manic is a better way to describe my approach to running. On top of it, I caught a cold last weekend and am now nursing a slight fever. I went running yesterday. Bad idea, I feel worse today. I should have rested.
Off of the marathon track, Azerbaijan had its presidential election last week. The incumbent, President Ilham Aliyev, was reelected with 90 percent support. I remember the first presidential election there, and the last parliamentary one. This one was better. But the OSCE/ODIHR and now the EU Presidency argued the election did not meet all the international standards.
Well, it’s like running a marathon. We’re all in it for the long run. Azerbaijan, EU and the OSCE. Democracy like long-distance running is about the process, the training and the institutional stamina.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Crashing
It seems everything is crashing. I arrived in New York last week, partly to be back home and partly for the UN General Assembly. I'm usually excited upon arrival, except this time the City feels less alive than usual, with less electricity in the air to make your hair stand up. The news from the financial markets is killing the mood, I suppose, for everyone. I don't know what to think. But I know I feel anxiety. Was this inevitable, just another bubble bursting, is the bail-out package even relevant in the grand scheme of things? Even the weather has been worse the usual, raining most of the time. New York almost feels like Brussels.
I could not care. But with bank after bank folding or being acquired, I can't help but think that nobody and nothing is safe anymore. The stock market is too risky, commodities seem unstable and their value will probably drop as the global economy contracts. Buy gold? I don't know, it seems overvalued. Then there's the whole currency issue. Should I keep liquidity in Dollars or Euros; in both or in Pounds?
But what scares me even more than the market, is the possibility that Sara Palin could be a heartbeat away from the White House. I like the idea that in America everything is possible and anyone can become someone if they just work hard enough. But some things are outright outrageous and wrong, and her nomination for VP is wrong and outrageous, careless and dangerous. She is not ready to be the Vice President of the most powerful country, let alone President. After all, and as we are now seeing, when America falls sick so do the rest of us. I never thought I would see the day when I may wish for President Bush to return to the While House, but with Palin possibly coming in, I'm feeling Bush shouldn't leave at all.
No wonder running has been less than fun this week. My head is cluttered with random worries. But I'll keep running and hopefully clear the jumble and find some answers.
I could not care. But with bank after bank folding or being acquired, I can't help but think that nobody and nothing is safe anymore. The stock market is too risky, commodities seem unstable and their value will probably drop as the global economy contracts. Buy gold? I don't know, it seems overvalued. Then there's the whole currency issue. Should I keep liquidity in Dollars or Euros; in both or in Pounds?
But what scares me even more than the market, is the possibility that Sara Palin could be a heartbeat away from the White House. I like the idea that in America everything is possible and anyone can become someone if they just work hard enough. But some things are outright outrageous and wrong, and her nomination for VP is wrong and outrageous, careless and dangerous. She is not ready to be the Vice President of the most powerful country, let alone President. After all, and as we are now seeing, when America falls sick so do the rest of us. I never thought I would see the day when I may wish for President Bush to return to the While House, but with Palin possibly coming in, I'm feeling Bush shouldn't leave at all.
No wonder running has been less than fun this week. My head is cluttered with random worries. But I'll keep running and hopefully clear the jumble and find some answers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
